Monthly Archives: May 2013

Change. When I hear that word, many things come to mind. I think back on how drastically life can ‘veer off course from one little event. Pastor Scott’s message on Sunday was a figurative “nail on the head” moment for me; I have been deeply concerned lately with the future for my own life and with issues concerning change. Personally, I like comfortability, which I feel is common amongst most people.

Overall, my life has been relatively stagnant. I was always the pastor’s kid, in an “always Christian home” with a very laidback schedule. I often thought this was all that life was about, being the most comfortable person you can. It wasn’t until college though that I really began to feel change. I learned many things that both shocked me and encouraged me. I learned that true Christianity is a lot more than a feeling religion. It is one that requires deeds done in faith and actions that glorified God over ourselves. I learned that humility is an important aspect of the Christian faith that requires a deep inner change, which goes against the natural human tendency for self-seeking happiness. I learned obedience is key for the Christian, an obedience that does not seek to justify oneself or fight against servant-hood.

Sometimes, change brings things we may like. For example, the young man preparing to propose; going into a healthy and life long relationship with a significant other can be a very pleasant and eagerly awaited change. The business woman who has worked hard her entire life, about to step into a higher position offering better pay and bonuses would also thoroughly enjoy the change coming into her own life. However, like it or not, as Pastor Scott said, “If you are having a horrible time, just hold on, change is coming. If your life is going great, get ready because change is coming.” Change is common for all people; everyone has good times and bad times. Many of these changes have deeply impacted my life and walk with God. None of them were easy yet all were important for me. Sometimes, changes happen that may seem like nothing good comes out of it. In Acts 7, a faithful follower of Christ is put on trial for heresy and ultimately executed. Such a thing can easily be terrible in the eyes of the one reading it, which I must admit I indeed am guilty of, but find that through this man’s death God was able to kick start the Christian movement on a scale that proved to be effective. As any living being on earth, change affects us all, it is one of the major factors that make us what we are today. We live, learn and adapt through change; whether for good or for ill. In the end however, while things may become chaotic and utterly indiscernible, we have hope that God never changes and that ultimately, His plan will succeed.


For the Love of God; John 3:16

Most people know me as a writer.  Which is true, I write and I do spoken word and that’s my thing.  However, one thing I haven’t quite been able to write is my story.  I want to be able to incorporate my story into my poetry.  I’m challenging myself in my writing to have it be more than just what I do, but that I shine through it as an example of who God is.

Today in church, Steve spoke about not understanding God’s love for him.  He said that for a long time he accepted God’s love for everyone else, but couldn’t see how God could love him.  I used to say those exact words about myself, and that’s a huge part of my testimony.

When I was in high school my mom had cancer.  I don’t really remember if we had a relationship before that, so I can’t blame cancer for destroying our relationship, but I know not having my parents for those years is a big part of who I am today.  I dealt with a lot of depression through the ages of 14 and 15 (and beyond), and I was cutting myself among other things.  Halfway through my sophomore year I went to a convention with the youth group from my brother’s church.  I wasn’t considering myself a Christian, but I was pretty sure there was a God.  I didn’t believe that God could love me.  I thought that I was so messed up that I shouldn’t even exist at all.  I hated the person that I was, but I didn’t have the strength to change.  

On the second night of the three day convention, a speaker came out and talked about God and His love.  He said that there were people in the room who didn’t feel worthy of God’s love, people who felt like giving up.  He promised that God was waiting with His arms open.  I felt like he was speaking right to me, and it broke me.  I instantly gave my life to God, knowing I would end up at Life Pacific College, but nothing else.  

The thing is, I haven’t thought about that instance in detail in so long.  It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten where I came from.  Steve had seven points on God’s love, some of which being that His love is unconditional, sacrificial, and beneficial.  Steve’s message was for me.  But his message was for everyone else as well, because God’s love is for everyone.  

For the love of God, God loves you; don’t forget where you came from.